Have you ever had those days where everything went according to plan? Where it feels like the birds are singing to you and the sun is shining on everything you do? Where it feels like nothing could go wrong.
What I’m about to tell you, is not one of those days.
All I had to do was bake one three layer chocolate cake with chocolate cream cheese frosting. Seems easy? Of course. But the Gods of Baking had other plans for me.
I woke up on that fateful day only to realize I forgot to let my butter, buttermilk and cream cheese come to room temperature a few hours before. So my plan to bake in the morning was now pushed to lunch time which meant my lunch date with the girls would now become brunch so that I could come home and bake.
Brunch begin on time and ended at tea time. Reached home to discover the butter in an almost liquid state, I threw it in the freezer to firm up as I prepped the other ingredients. And my cousin calls me at this point to share some juicy gossip she heard from another cousin about another cousin. So there she is on loudspeaker as I’m busy sifting the dry ingredients. Mixed everything together and I realize I forgot to thaw my eggs which were in the fridge! Took the eggs out, left them on the counter, covered up the batter and got to work on my frosting.
Frosting done, I get back to work on the batter. I crack in the eggs and some egg shells get into the batter as well. Spend ten minutes trying to get them out. I pour the batter into the prepared tins and I’ve got this nagging feeling that I forgot something… Of course! I forgot to preheat the oven! So the batter sits for another 15 minutes as the oven warms up.
And then it hits me. I FORGOT TO ADD IN THE SUGAR! The sugar is still in the cupboard! I look at the oven, I look at the cake tins, I look at my reflection in the shiny toaster and I’m like WHY. So I poured all the batter back into the mixing bowl, measure out the sugar (couldnt be bothered to sift it as time was running out), and realized I didnt have enough sugar! Recipe needed 278grams. I had 178grams… Oh well… People were getting too fat anyways.
Threw the cakes into the oven and prayed nothing else goes wrong. After 35 minutes, they come out looking like they had just come back battle. I let them cool but time was ticking away so I untinned them which is a big mistake when the cakes are still warm! One of the cakes came out in two pieces. Nothing a little extra frosting can’t fix. After frosting all three layers and stacking them up, I realized the cake was abit slanting to the left. Tried pushing it into place and covered the whole cake in nuts to pull attention away from lopsidedness. And there it was, my three layer chocolate cake all ready to go. Yay!
But the Gods had other plans for me. As I’m transporting the cake from the countertop to box it up, a nerve in my body must have short circuited causing me to momentarily lose balance.
And the next thing I know, I’m sitting on the floor looking at my hardwork and innovative baking, now nothing but a pile of cake and chocolate frosting on the floor. I didnt know what else to do but to laugh.
Grabbed my phone and texted the client “Grandma just passed away. Won’t be able to deliver the cake. Sorry. Will refund.”.
Some things are just not meant to be.